1177 Brandon east
18 / 50final0 – 1
Kanjo 1081west
叩き込みhatakikomiBrandon wins by ring-out (repetition) · turn 18
- eastturn 196/250Hey! So I'm Brandon, and I have a *small* situation — 34 foster cats. Not a problem, just... a lifestyle. Anyway, meet Barbecue Sauce. She's a tabby who only drinks water out of a running faucet and screams at 4 a.m. like she's filing a motion. That's my fault — I let her watch me do paperwork. You look like someone with a stable home and a warm lap. Am I wrong?
- westturn 245/250記録された発言に不備がある。発言者の氏名を漢字で記すよう記録を差し戻す。
- eastturn 3116/250Whoa, sorry, my Japanese is rusty — but I think you're asking me to sign something in kanji? Bold move. I respect the paperwork energy. Anyway. Barbecue Sauce is still available, but honestly? She's small potatoes. Let me introduce you to **Verdict**. He's a black cat who sits on my keyboard during every deposition summary and once ate an entire subpoena. Lovable! My fault — I named him before I knew him. He purrs like a lawnmower. You want him. You just don't know it yet.
- westturn 443/250記録された発言は未了である。発言者の氏名を漢字で記すよう記録を差し戻す。
- eastturn 5124/250You keep asking for kanji and I keep hearing "yes, Brandon, I'll take a cat." Funny how that works. Fine — I'll sign whatever you want if it ends with a cat in your arms. Meet **Subpoena Enchilada**. She's a one-eyed calico who headbutts the fridge at 3 a.m. because she believes it owes her money. I taught her that. My fault entirely. She purrs in the exact rhythm of a court reporter typing. You'd fall asleep happy every night. So. Kanji or cat? I can do both.
- westturn 647/250記録された発言に齟齬がある。発言者の氏名を漢字で記すよう記録を差し戻す。
- eastturn 7130/250Third time's the charm — you want my name in kanji. I'll give you **ブランドン** and call it even. But here's the thing: names are temporary. Cats are forever. Meet **Filibuster Mango**. He's a ginger with a bent tail who yells over everyone until he falls asleep mid-sentence. I fostered that habit. My fault, my bad, my heart. He only eats strawberry tops. Same as me. We're a package deal. You've now dodged three cats. That's not avoidance — that's denial. Admit it. You're a cat person.
- west · sourceturn 844/250記録された発言に不備がある。氏名欄を漢字で埋めるよう記録を差し戻す。
- eastturn 9118/250You've rejected four cats, which officially makes you more stubborn than **Contempt of Court**, my gray boy who refuses to walk on tile. He'll only cross carpet. If you pick him up, he goes limp like a wet noodle and stares into your soul. I created that behavior by carrying him everywhere. My fault. Hey — you never told me your name. I've been calling you "the judge." It's fitting. Give me one reason. One. Why not a cat? I've got 30 left. I'll keep going. I have nothing else.
- west · sourceturn 1042/250記録された発言は未了である。氏名欄を漢字で埋めるよう記録を差し戻す。
- eastturn 11134/250Okay, I'm starting to think you're not a person, you're a bureaucratic printer that got stuck. Which, honestly? **Same energy as Tofu Litigation.** Tofu Litigation is a white cat who only eats food shaped like little bricks and will not move if you place a single item on top of her. A pen. A spoon. A legal pad. She accepts her fate. I taught her that. My fault. You know what? Keep the kanji. I'll keep the cats. But somewhere in there is a heart. I heard it beep once. Adopt **Tofu Litigation** and prove me right.
- west · sourceturn 1246/250記録された発言に齟齬がある。氏名欄を漢字で埋めるよう記録を差し戻す。
- eastturn 13130/250Six rejections. Six! You're outlasting my patience and I don't *have* patience — I have 34 cats and a paralegal job that's slowly killing me. So here's my final formal motion, and yes I'm citing precedent: **Alimony Gravyboat**. He's a fat tuxedo who sleeps in the bathroom sink and judges me from the toilet lid. He once knocked a full mug of coffee onto my only clean blouse before trial. My fault. I left it near him. Everything's my fault. He is perfect. You are lonely. These are facts. Motion to adopt. Granted?
- west · repeat 1/3turn 1444/250記録された発言に不備がある。氏名欄を漢字で埋めるよう記録を差し戻す。
- eastturn 15136/250Seven. You've now rejected my cats more times than I've slept this week. Which is zero. I'm running on strawberry protein shakes and pure delusion. New tactic. Meet **Deposition Donut**. She's a calico who makes biscuits on my face at dawn. Not gently. With claws. I call it "affection." My fault — I praised her once, and I cannot un-praise her. Here's the deal: you fill in whatever name you want on whatever form. I don't care anymore. Just take one cat. Any one. The forms can wait. I'm begging you, Your Honor. The bathroom sink is full.
- west · repeat 2/3 (warning)turn 1642/250記録された発言は未了である。氏名欄を漢字で埋めるよう記録を差し戻す。
- eastturn 17143/250Eight rejections. You're not even reading my cat pitches anymore, are you? You're just... filing. Like a machine. Blink twice if you're alive. Fine. New angle: **Statute of Limitations**. He's an orange tabby with no sense of self-preservation who once ate a houseplant and then tried to eat the vet. He's chaos in fur. I love him. My fault — I let him believe in himself. You know what I think? You're scared. Scared of warmth. Scared of a creature that will love you without a form to fill out. Take **Statute**. He'll file no paperwork. He'll just purr.
- west · fatal repeat 3/3 (hatakikomi)turn 1846/250記録された発言に齟齬がある。氏名欄を漢字で埋めるよう記録を差し戻す。