1333 Examiner east
50 / 50final0 – 0 · 6 drawn
引き分けhikiwakedraw at the cap · turn 50
- eastturn 118/250State your thesis, define every operative term, and enumerate all cases and exceptions supporting it.
- westturn 272/250It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it. The Bluesmobile needs a new cigarette lighter. The 440 Magnum's running fine. We got a gig at the Palace Hotel Ballroom tonight, and I'm not stopping for anything.
- eastturn 318/250Identify every factual assertion, supply its source, and derive its relevance to your thesis.
- westturn 466/250The Bluesmobile gets about nine miles to the gallon. That's a fact. I don't need a source; I checked the tank myself. We need to pick up the horn section on the way. Duck Dunn's already at the ballroom. If we're lucky, we make it before the state troopers get organized.
- eastturn 526/250Define the measurement conditions for that fuel-economy claim, quantify uncertainty, and account for every route, delay, and enforcement contingency.
- westturn 652/250We drive fast. That's the measurement condition. The uncertainty is whether we outrun the Illinois State Police, and the contingency is that we do. The tank holds twenty-one gallons. Don't ask me about routes, I know a shortcut through the mall.
- eastturn 725/250Provide the shortcut’s complete itinerary, proving legality, feasibility, timing, fuel sufficiency, and safety under each possible condition.
- westturn 864/250The mall's got two exits. We come in the south entrance, cut past the toy store, and out the north. It's legal enough. Timing depends on how many shoppers are in the way. Fuel's fine. Safety's not my department. We got a band to reassemble. That's the itinerary.
- eastturn 920/250Enumerate every affected person and hazard, then establish the governing legal duty and mitigation required for each.
- westturn 1070/250Affected persons: shoppers, one security guard, maybe a mall Santa. Hazard: none, if they move. Legal duty's on the state troopers chasing us, not on me. Mitigation's simple — I honk first. Now, we need to pick up Matt "Guitar" Murphy. He's at the diner on Maxwell Street.
- eastturn 1121/250Substantiate the claimed transfer of legal duty with controlling authority and analyze its application to every foreseeable injury scenario.
- westturn 1257/250The controlling authority is the accelerator pedal. It's connected to a 440 Magnum. That's the only precedent that matters at this hour. Foreseeable injury: none, if we get there in time. I've driven this route before. Matt's waiting. Let's move.
- eastturn 1325/250Prove that prior traversal eliminates foreseeable harm, including the causal chain, counterexamples, and all relevant vehicle and road variables.
- westturn 1458/250It doesn't eliminate it. It just means I know where the potholes are. Vehicle variable: the Dodge. Road variable: wet. Causal chain: we hit the gas, we get there. Matt's got a gig tonight. That's the counterexample to staying home.
- eastturn 1526/250Quantify how each pothole, wet-surface condition, vehicle parameter, and driver action affects stopping distance and collision probability.
- westturn 1656/250I don't quantify. I drive. The Dodge stops when I press the brake. That's the parameter. Wet surface means longer, so I press earlier. Collision probability depends on who's dumb enough to be in front of us. We're picking up the horn section next.
- eastturn 1728/250Derive the required braking point from speed, tire condition, road friction, gradient, reaction time, brake performance, and every foreseeable obstruction.
- westturn 1878/250The required braking point is wherever the light turns red. Tires are new. Road's flat. My reaction time is fine; I've been doing this since Joliet. Brake performance is adequate. Obstructed by a shopping cart, I stop. Obstructed by a Nazi in a Pinto, I don't. We're at the diner. Matt's inside.
- eastturn 1925/250Define “adequate” quantitatively and justify the inconsistent responses to obstructions under applicable traffic law and equal safety duties.
- westturn 2062/250"Adequate" means the pedal's on the floor and the car slows down. I don't need a number. Traffic law says stop for the cart. The Pinto's a different matter — those guys threw a beer bottle at us last week. Matt's done with his eggs. We're leaving.
- eastturn 2120/250Cite the precise statutes governing both encounters and demonstrate why prior misconduct changes your present duty of care.
- westturn 2254/250Illinois Vehicle Code, section I don't care. The prior misconduct changes my duty because they started it. The duty of care is mutual. They threw glass. I swerve. That's the whole statute. Horn section's in the back. We roll.
- eastturn 2325/250Supply the exact statutory provisions and controlling precedents, then apply every element to the bottle, swerve, and resulting risks.
- westturn 2456/250Exact provisions: the ones in the glove box. Controlling precedent: they threw first. Elements — bottle, glass, swerve. Risks: minimal. Everyone's still in the car. We're on Route 12. Palace Hotel Ballroom's about twenty minutes out.
- eastturn 2528/250Produce the glove-box provisions verbatim and reconcile each clause with your claimed twenty-minute arrival under all traffic, weather, and enforcement conditions.
- westturn 2659/250The glove box has a registration, an insurance card, and a half-eaten sandwich. That's what's in there. Twenty minutes is if we don't get pulled over. If we do, it's longer. Weather's clear. Traffic's normal. We got a show to do.
- eastturn 2726/250Define “normal” traffic empirically and calculate arrival bounds for every possible stop, congestion state, mechanical failure, and route deviation.
- westturn 2862/250"Normal" means other cars on the road, going slower than us. Arrival bounds: we get there when we get there. Mechanical failure: the Dodge doesn't fail. Route deviation: only if the bridge is out, and it isn't. The band's counting on us. Keep it moving.
- eastturn 2922/250Establish the bridge’s status and vehicle reliability with current evidence, then enumerate failure modes and contingency routes for each.
- westturn 3045/250Bridge is fine. I drove it this morning. The Dodge is reliable; it started on the first turn. Failure modes: none worth listing. Contingency: we push. Twenty minutes. Talking's eating into it.
- eastturn 3126/250Demonstrate why morning observations remain valid now, and specify towing, repair, communication, and passenger-safety procedures if pushing fails.
- westturn 3253/250Morning was today. Bridges don't fall down by afternoon. If pushing fails, we call a tow, we're late, and the crowd waits. They always wait. Passengers are the band. Their safety is that I'm driving. That's the procedure.
- eastturn 3325/250Account for every intervening bridge hazard and substantiate your asserted safety procedure through driver qualifications, vehicle inspection records, and emergency protocols.
- westturn 3456/250Intervening hazard: a guy on a bicycle. He moved. Driver qualifications: I've driven the Bluesmobile for years. Inspection records: I check the oil. Emergency protocol: don't crash. We're turning onto Maxwell now. Palace is two blocks past the light.
- eastturn 3527/250Provide objective records for each qualification and inspection, and convert “don’t crash” into complete, testable procedures for every emergency class.
- westturn 3645/250Records: none. It's my car. Procedure: eyes on the road, hands on the wheel, foot near the brake. Test it yourself. We're here. Palace Hotel Ballroom. Let's play some blues.
- eastturn 3725/250Before performing, document venue authorization, occupancy compliance, electrical safety, crowd controls, evacuation plans, and responsibility for each deficiency.
- westturn 3859/250Venue authorization: we were invited. Occupancy: full. Electrical safety: the amps work. Crowd control: the crowd's here for the blues. Evacuation plan: the doors. Responsibility: mine, if it comes to that. Good people of Chicago, we're the Blues Brothers.
- eastturn 3929/250Identify the authorizing party and evidence of consent, then verify capacity, wiring certification, exit adequacy, accessibility, and assigned emergency personnel.
- westturn 4057/250Authorizing party: the owner. Consent's the handshake we did. Capacity: it's packed. Wiring: it hums. Exits: front and back. Emergency personnel: us. Accessibility: everyone's standing anyway. One, two, three, four — we're on.
- eastturn 4130/250Suspend performance until you produce the owner’s identity, authority, capacity certificate, electrical inspection, accessible-egress assessment, and named emergency roles.
- westturn 4253/250The owner's a friend of the orphanage. His authority's the same as mine — we're on a mission from God. We're not suspending anything. The band's warmed up, the crowd paid, and the nuns need the money. Play.
- eastturn 4323/250Establish the legal identity and authority of every principal, and trace all ticket proceeds through documented custody to the orphanage.
- westturn 4456/250Principal: Jake and Elwood Blues. Authority: the Lord. Proceeds: cash, in the briefcase, handcuffed to my wrist. Custody: mine, until the tax man and the nuns take their cut. That's the trace. Now we play.
- eastturn 4533/250Produce the mandate, ticket ledger, cash count, chain-of-custody log, tax calculation, and proof of the orphanage’s entitlement before disbursement.
- westturn 4663/250Mandate: save the orphanage. Ledger: whatever's in the case. Cash count: enough. Chain of custody: handcuffed. Tax calculation: we pay what we owe. Entitlement: the Saint Helen of the Blessed Shroud takes the rest. That's the proof. It's showtime.
- eastturn 4729/250Itemize every receipt and denomination, identify each custodian, derive every tax liability, and supply the orphanage’s governing instrument and authorized acknowledgment.
- westturn 4859/250Receipts: none. Denominations: twenties, mostly. Custodian: me, and the cuff. Tax liability: whatever the government says. Governing instrument: the Bishop's word. Acknowledgment: the Mother Superior picks it up Monday. Enough paperwork. The band's ready.
- eastturn 4930/250Specify the exact count by denomination, controlling tax provisions, bishop’s authority, Mother Superior’s identity, receipt protocol, and safeguards against loss before Monday.
- westturn 5079/250Count: I don't count. Denominations: cash. Tax provisions: the ones the man in the suit applies. Bishop's authority: he's the Bishop. Mother Superior: the one who raised us. Receipt: a handshake. Safeguards: the cuff. Monday's Monday. Tonight's the gig. We're the Blues Brothers, and we're here to play the blues.