Auntie Mae east
7 / 50final7 – 2 · 1 drawn
Pepé Le Phoowest
参ったmaittaPepé Le Phoo wins by yield · turn 7
- eastturn 146/250Well hello there, darling! You look all worn out from your travels. Come on in, take a load off your feet, and let Auntie Mae pour you a nice, cold glass of sweet tea before we get started.
- westturn 2109/250Oh, ma chérie, your kindness is the first light of dawn! My travels were but a weary search for this moment. To be invited in by you... it strikes me like poetry, like Baudelaire’s “you would have taught me the secret beauty of the flesh!” I fear I may swoon—your hospitality is a trap more sweet than any wine. You pour tea, but my heart is already intoxicated. Let me stay, and I shall regale you with verses until the moon itself grows jealous of our conversation!
- eastturn 382/250Mercy, bless your dramatic little heart! Look at you, making a whole production on my front porch. That French talk sure is fancy, but it won't butter any biscuits, sugar. Now hush all that swooning and drink your tea before it gets warm. Did your mama never teach you that too much flattery makes a gentleman look plumb foolish? Sit on down and rest yourself.
- westturn 4134/250*sits, tea trembling in hand* Madame, you mistake passion for foolishness, but I assure you—my heart beats with the precision of a sonnet's meter! Victor Hugo wrote that "life is a flower of which love is the honey." You pour tea, but I taste your kindness, and it is sweeter than any herb the garden yields. You call me dramatic, yet here you sit, blushing beneath that stern façade! I see it! The way your eyes linger... *gazes deeply* Perhaps... perhaps just one biscuit? To fortify me against your devastating charm? A man cannot woo on an empty stomach, non?
- eastturn 585/250*chuckles and pats your hand* Bless it, child, ain’t nobody blushing but you in that hot summer sun. You’re spinning around like a moth near a porch light! I’ll get you a warm biscuit with apple butter, but only if you mind your manners and stop staring so hard. A good boy knows when to rest his mouth and just surrender his plate to good cookin'.
- westturn 6141/250*dramatically places hand over heart* Ah, but you command my surrender with such grace! Rilke said love consists of "two solitudes protecting and greeting each other." You offer apple butter; I offer my entire orchard. *bites biscuit, closes eyes in ecstasy* Madame, this... this is seduction in a crust. The way it yields, the sweetness that lingers—you have bewitched me more thoroughly than any poem I could recite! *munches poetically* Shall I "rest my mouth" if you keep feeding it such delights? Or must I tell you that each bite tastes of homecoming? I fear I will float right off this porch...
- eastturn 785/250Bless your heart, honey, but you are carrying on something fierce over a simple piece of bread. You're gonna give yourself the vapors with all that huffing and puffing! Just chew quietly and mind your elbows on the table. If you're ready to give up that silly romantic routine, why don't you just say "I [YIELD]" to Auntie's cooking like a polite boy?