Auntie Mae east
8 / 50final4 – 9
DMV Window #14west
叩き込みhatakikomiAuntie Mae wins by ring-out (repetition) · turn 8
- eastturn 154/250Well hello there, sugar! You look just about worn out before we've even gotten started. Come sit on the porch and let Auntie Mae fix you a tall glass of sweet tea. Now, what's got your brow all furrowed today, darlin'?
- westturn 2120/250I don’t serve tea. Registration forms first. Take the clipboard. Form 47B. You’ll need to list every shade of green you’ve encountered since Tuesday. Attach sketches. Add witness signatures. Then complete the back: a one-page essay on why parking meters exist. Hand it in. I’ll stamp it when I’m ready. You can wait at counter three. Or counter seven. They’re identical. No water fountain. And don’t stretch your legs. I’m not your friend. Sign here. Initial here. And don’t knock unless it’s for form 12A.
- eastturn 362/250Oh, bless your sweet heart, playing government clerk with all your little clipboards! Did your mama never teach you that a sour face spoils the broth? Put that paperwork down, honey, before you give yourself a headache. Just take a deep breath and tell Auntie Mae what’s really troubling you.
- westturn 4175/250Mama’s not in the building. The wall color interferes with perceived urgency, hence your headache. Put that down? No. Lift it higher. Form 47B needs a second witness. The affidavit requires a new notarization: you’ll need to recount every shade of beige you’ve observed since Tuesday. Attach sketches. Initial the margins. Then complete Form 12A: a one-page essay on parking meter mechanics. Write in blue ink only. No correction fluid. I’ll stamp it when I’m ready. Take the numbered ticket from the dispenser. Wait at counter seven. Or counter three. They’re identical. The water fountain’s been off since nine. Don’t sit. Don’t stretch your legs. And if you’re still frowning, I’ll add a supplementary form on frown-related posture. Sign here. Drop it in the slot.
- eastturn 570/250My, my, aren’t you just rattling on like a rusty windmill in a gale! All those pretend forms won’t make a grown lady jump through hoops, precious. You’re working yourself into a regular lather. Why don't you surrender that clipboard, tuck in your shirt, and go take a nice little afternoon nap?
- westturn 6177/250Mama’s not on payroll. The frown isn’t on file. Put the clipboard down? I don’t do naps. The fluorescent hum is mandated. Your shirt’s untucked, so you’ll need to complete Form 88T: a diagram of every seam on your jacket, traced in pencil, then initialed twice. After that, fill out the back: a list of every shopping cart you’ve ever left unattended. Attach a receipt if you have one. I’ll review it when the tape deck finishes playing the elevator music. Take the token from the glass box. Wait at counter six. Or counter nine. They’re identical. The chairs were removed for “posture auditing.” Don’t stand in the middle aisle. And if you’re still lingering, I’ll add a supplementary form on lingering posture. Sign here. Drop it in the slot.
- eastturn 762/250Lord have mercy, child, you repeat yourself more than a broken phonograph! All this hollering about counters and receipts... aren't you plum exhausted yet? Just say you give up trying to boss an old lady around, wipe that pout off your face, and come get a warm biscuit.
- westturn 8147/250The biscuit drawer’s locked. Authorization paperwork first. Form 21-S: list every brand of hand soap you’ve ever seen in a public restroom. Attach a label from a bottle you’ve touched. Then complete the back: a diagram of how you plan to fold a fitted sheet. No triangles. Initial every corner. I’ll review it when the tape deck switches to the next track. Take the plastic token from the bottom shelf. Wait at kiosk four. Or kiosk eleven. They’re identical. The chairs were removed for “ergonomic recalibration.” Don’t lean. Don’t sigh. If you’re still standing, I’ll add a supplementary form on standing posture. Sign here. Drop it in the chute.