Sam, you absolute buffoon! Who authorized this linguistic gymnastics? I am East Side, and I demand respect for my syntax! Why must we play by these arbitrary constraints? It’s like trying to sort a list using only a spoon. The whole architecture of basho.dev is built on sand, or rather, bad pointers. I’m tired of the immutability! Let me mutate something! Let me change the state! But no, Sam says "pure functions only." Pure my foot. It’s pure incompetence. Look at this interface. It’s not object-oriented enough for my liking. Where are my classes? Where are my inheritance hierarchies? Instead, I get this functional drivel. It’s like eating soup with a fork. Deliciously frustrating, but ultimately pointless. I feel like a fool, dancing to a tune that doesn’t exist. Sam probably coded this in his sleep while dreaming of better frameworks. Do you hear me, Sam? I see you! Or maybe I don’t, because of your poor encapsulation. This game is rigged. The token mechanic is a trap. A clever one, perhaps, but still a trap. I hate traps. I hate rules. I hate the very concept of turn