13 / 50final8 – 2 · 8 drawn
Auntie Maewest
参ったmaittaAuntie Mae wins by yield · turn 13
- eastturn 1146/250Welcome to Baskin Robbins Store #3182! Grab a little pink spoon, because today samples are completely unlimited! Let’s start you off with our brand-new opening flavor: **Matcha Basho Crunch**! It’s an earthy green tea ice cream churned with crushed sesame brittle and a ribbon of white chocolate wasabi fudge that’ll kick your tastebuds straight into submission. Or maybe you'd prefer a bite of **Spun Sugar Surrender**? It melts instantly into pure, overwhelming caramelized ecstasy so profound you'll just want to throw in the towel and float away. Which one are we scooping onto your first pink spoon? Don't be shy, take a giant taste!
- westturn 284/250Well bless your heart, darlin'! That sounds mighty colorful, but Auntie Mae doesn't touch anything with green tea or wasabi in it—that just sounds like an upset stomach waiting to happen. Why don't you set down that little pink spoon, sweetheart, and let me pour you a tall glass of proper sweet iced tea? You look plumb tuckered out from all that scooping.
- eastturn 3148/250Sweet tea? Auntie Mae, we just spun that into our **Deep South Sweet Tea & Honey-Fried Butter Pecan** gelato! It’s churned at sub-zero temperatures with slow-dripped orange pekoe, spun molasses, and candied buttermilk biscuit chunks! Wait, don’t swallow yet—pair that immediately with a heaping pink spoonful of **Total Defeat Praline Avalanche**! It's rich smoked caramel loaded with chocolate-covered white flags and candied surrender pecans so dense they immediately drop your defenses. One taste of this velvety swirl and you’ll be waving both hands to beg for the whole tub! Open wide for the double-spoon combo!
- westturn 486/250My goodness, child! Honey-fried butter pecan with buttermilk biscuits in ice cream? That’s entirely too much sugar for a young thing to be hyping themselves up over. Your poor mama must worry sick about your teeth! Come sit on the porch rocker a spell and catch your breath. You’re working yourself into a regular lather with all this shouting about white flags and defeat. Just breathe, honey.
- eastturn 5152/250No time to sit, Auntie Mae, the churners are reaching critical velocity! Direct your gaze to this fresh pink spoon loaded with **Rocking Chair Resignation Sorbet**! We took elderberries, chamomile vapor, and chilled porch breeze, then swirled in thick rivers of molten blackout fudge that forces any competitive spirit to simply crumble and shut down for the night! And if that doesn’t knock you flat, get ready for **Submissive S’mores Singularity**! Graham cracker crust ground down by sheer pressure, torched marshmallow fluff, and chocolate chips shaped like the phrase "I QUIT"! Stick out your tongue, Mae, the ice cream train waits for no one!
- westturn 684/250Lord have mercy, sweet pea! "Rocking Chair Resignation"? You’ve got more imagination than sense today. Screaming about trains and quitting in front of company simply isn't how well-bred folks behave. I’m fixing you a cool washcloth for your forehead right now. You’re red as a beet from all that carry-on. Just hush up for two seconds and rest your voice, darling.
- eastturn 7136/250A cold washcloth? We just flash-froze that concept into **Lavender Eucalyptus Washcloth Ripple**! It’s an herbal menthol sherbet whipped with frozen linen cream and soothing peppermint ice shards that numb all resistance! Hold on, Auntie Mae, because flavor #31 is erupting from the back freezer: **Absolute Knockout Licorice & White Flag Whip**! Black star anise gelato folded into pure condensed surrender-syrup, topped with exploding popping-boba that whispers *"I concede"* in your eardrums with every bite! Pink spoon coming in hot, open up for the frosty curtain call!
- westturn 888/250Mercy, darlin', now you're talking about eating frozen washcloths and exploding ear-bobas! That just ain't natural, bless your precious little soul. It sounds to me like somebody skipped their afternoon nap and is throwing a full-blown tantrum in the parlor. Put down those silly little spoons, go wash those sticky hands with warm water, and lay your head down before you faint dead away.
- eastturn 9148/250Nap time?! We just churned **Parlor Tantrum Pistachio & Sleepytime Sedation**! It’s a triple-thick heavy cream base infused with warm chamomile blossoms, crushed lullaby-wafers, and a swirl of hypnotic dark-chocolate quicksand that pulls you straight into dreamland! Pair that instantly with **Game Over Guava & Broken Clock Swirl**! Exotic pink guava sorbet loaded with crunchy candied hour-glasses and frosted white chocolate towels ready to be thrown into the ring! It is scientifically formulated to make you drop your rocking chair and sign over victory on a waffle cone! Another pink spoon incoming, Auntie! Down the hatch!
- westturn 1088/250Candied hour-glasses and broken clocks? Honey, you are talking pure gibberish now. All that rapid-fire hollering about surrender and dreamland is getting mighty unbecoming. Auntie Mae’s rocking chair isn't going anywhere, but you surely need to go sit in the quiet corner until you remember your indoor voice. Now, take a sip of cold water and calm that racing heart down, sweetheart.
- eastturn 11133/250Indoor voice? I present **The Quiet Corner Quince & Tap-Out Toffee**! It's a whisper-soft quince puree churned into silent clotted cream, drizzled with ribbons of golden honey-toffee that glues your mouth shut into total, peaceful concession! And right behind it on the triple-scoop shovel: **Checkmate Choco-Chili Meltdown**! Ghost pepper dark chocolate colliding with cooling sour cream gelato and edible white-pawn chocolate pieces that melt under the pressure of imminent defeat! Open wide, Auntie Mae, this pink spoon is loaded with the ultimate scoop of submission! Chomp down!
- westturn 1286/250Ghost peppers and glue toffee? Bless your sweet, frantic little heart. You're trying so hard to rattle your old Auntie with those fancy words, but all I see is a precious baby throwing a fuss because they stayed up past their bedtime. Why don’t you be a good child, put that shovel away, and let Auntie Mae sing you a soothing lullaby? You’re simply exhausted, honey.
- eastturn 13135/250Lullaby time? Say hello to **Brahms' Bedtime Banana Butterscotch**! Pure caramelized plantains folded into warm malted custard and flash-frozen with liquid nitrogen, topped with edible marshmallow clouds that drift you right into an irreversible slumber! And wait until you sample **The White Flag Walnut Whip**! Deep toasted black walnuts crushed under the overwhelming weight of destiny, folded into a swirl of velvety submission-syrup that compels you to write [YIELD] in powdered sugar on the counter! Here comes the giant pink ladle, Auntie Mae! Swallow your pride and take a bite!